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TIPS ON WRITING TO A PRISONER
Thank you for writing to a
prisoner. You must be a very special person. Very
few people would be willing to share their time with
these men and women who have become the castaways of
our society. The fact remains - they are human
beings. Loneliness is one of the greatest
challenges they face each day. Mail call may be the
lowest point of their day, yet communication is
essential in the rehabilitation process. Studies
have shown that those inmates who have folks on the
outside taking an interest in them have a much lower
recidivism rate then those who do not. So, thank
you for this selfless act which is more than the
price of a stamp. It is an act of faith - faith
that you can reach out and make a positive
difference in another person's life.
We hope
these helpful hints will enhance this letter writing
experience for you.
Unless
the prisoners specifically state otherwise, letters
from members of the same sex are welcomed. Most are
just looking for friendship and to communicate with
positive individuals outside prison walls.
FIRST
LETTER:
1.You
must be 18 years old to write a prisoner, that's the
Law.
2. Write a little background
about yourself - your interests and hobbies, what
you like to do in your spare time, your studies,
work, pets, your favorite movies, what bands you
like, what books, what religion or philosophies
interest you, etc. Avoid sharing too much personal
information.
3. Be upfront
about your ability to write on a regular basis. If
you are only able to write once a month, let that
person know so that he or she doesn't look for your
letter and feel that you are not interested.
4. If you are
not looking for a romantic relationship, let them
know upfront. Don't play head games.
5.If you do
not want any kind of sexual references or suggestive
writings from the inmate, make it perfectly clear in
the beginning. Getting to know an inmate and them
to know you takes time and a bit of patience. It's
best to begin with a basic friendship and build
relationships from that point.
6.Respond to
something they have written in their ads, such as a
love for the outdoors or some other area of
interest.
7. Ask
questions. Show you're interested in the person and
not in the situation, the fact that he or she is in
jail.
8.Do NOT
include gifts IN your letter. If you want to make
your letters more interesting, we offer some
suggestions here at the bottom of this page.
9.Greeting
cards can be a good way to make initial contact.
There are so many friendship-type cards available
just to say "hello" to the prisoner. This can take
the pressure off of you worrying about what to write
that first time.
1.Prisoners
are happy to get your letter(s) and are looking for
words of encouragement.
2. Remember
to put your return address on the upper left hand
corner of the envelope (be sure it is legible) and
include it again in the body of the letter in case
something happens to the envelope. The prison won't
accept letters without
return addresses. If you don't want the prisoner to
know your home address, get a P.O. Box.
3. You might
want to include a photograph of yourself so the
prisoner has a "face" to put with the name. Many
prisoners are forthright in stating they are looking
for relationships, but others are simply looking for
a friend with whom they can correspond. A photo
would be a nice gesture of friendship. If you are
going to send a photo, make sure and write the
prisoner's full name and DOC number on the back of
it. Otherwise it will be rejected and sent back to
you, at the inmate's expense.
FOLLOW-UP LETTERS:
1. Maintaining an ongoing
correspondence with a prisoner can be a mutually
rewarding experience. Your uplifting words of
encouragement can make their prison sentence more
bearable. Encourage them in their endeavors such as
getting an education while in prison, learning a
trade, becoming more spiritual, etc.
2. Do NOT
send significant amounts of money. We can't
stress this enough. If you send any money at all,
money for postage is usually greatly appreciated.
Be extremely leery of any inmate that tries to get
you to send them funds no matter the reason. If you
wish to assist a prisoner with legal expenses, ask
for his attorney of record and deal with that
person. NEVER send money directly to inmates for
attorneys' fees.
3. It's a
prudent practice not to give our your phone number
unless you get to know the inmate very well.
4. Try not to
be judgmental. Keep a cheery tone to your letters.
You will find that most prisoners are sincerely
lonely.
5. It might be
best to avoid talking about the particular crime
that person has committed. Many times the inmate
will volunteer the information themselves.
6. If you
decide you would like to send a gift to a prisoner,
be sure to find out the prison's policy on gifts.
There are as many rules as to what CAN and CANNOT be
sent to a prisoner as there are prisons.
GENERAL INFORMATION:
1. Don't write to more than
one inmate from one prison at a time. It's just not
a very good idea. From previous experience we have
found that many times a person that writes to more
than one inmate in the same facility can create a
rivalry between inmates. It's best to avoid that
situation all together.
2. All
prisoners are not the same. As with any group of
people there are vast differences in personalities
and cultures. If you find that you don't relate
well with one individual, don't let that stop you
from writing to another. As with any person you
meet on the outside, each one has his or her own
particular quality's that may be appealing or
unappealing to your own sense of taste. You will
find every denomination, race, educational
background and class inside prison walls.
3. Prisoners
do NOT have access to the Internet. If you are
writing a prisoner with an email address, please be
sure you include where they can write back to you
via regular mail.
4. If you
allow a prisoner to make a collect call to you, be
aware that these calls can be extremely expensive.
The prison usually take a cut on all phone calls
made from their facility, and most of them charge
significantly more than normal pay phone collect
calls.
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